Archive for the ‘ Duane Foree’s Journals ’ Category

zDay 59 – All good things…

My past has come back to haunt me.

It’s not the first time its happened but it’s certainly one of the worst. It all started a couple of days ago. Things were running like clockwork around here. I’d stopped blogging because I was busy once again. We found a place in the world once again and integrated ourselves into their system seamlessly. Anna is a little worker. She’s up for any challenge and picks up on how to do things really quickly. You can find her pretty much anywhere at any given time. Helping prepare meals, assisting Keith with the greenhouse, and even cleaning weapons. Yes. The girl can break down a Winchester M70 and clean it in under a half hour. She does so on shift changes or when guards bed down for the night. A clean weapon is an effective one, so they say.

As for me, Ben allowed me to finally go on a few salvage runs with Kyra and Gary while Joesph was being trained by George and Anthony. I wanted to express my concerns about Joe’s state of mind to Ben but how could I? I had killed his wife. How would that reflect on how they view me? Besides he’s very unassuming and follows orders like a soldier. There’s nothing to call him on other than my own personal bias so I remained silent.  The three person teams have been Kyra’s design from the start. They allow for maximum speed but enough coverage to get a good deal of work done. George’s crew had gone out first. Normally Ben doesn’t dispatch more than one squad unless there’s a big find. That came in the form of a Napa Auto Parts. George radioed about an hour in telling us they hand come upon a barely touched auto parts store. Keith has been working tirelessly with an assortment of crap tools and equipment for so long making this a rather ground breaking discovery.

Ben dispatched us next to assist George with the run. The Napa store was quite a ways down 4th, on the opposite side of town and far from our entry point in the Army Surplus store. There were quite a few lurkers on the streets but getting past them wasn’t too difficult. By the time we met up with George and the others they had already made entry into the building and had assembled several loads of equipment – mostly tools and surplus parts. It would have been far easier to have wheeled a couple of the toolboxes down the street but understandably both Kyra and George felt that would draw a bit too much attention. I wasn’t about to argue that one.

By the time we loaded up and hit the streets again, the situation outside had changed somewhat. We heard several dozen shots being fired, not near our position but way farther to the north of the city. There was a brief discussion between Kyra and George regarding whether we should investigate it or not but the consensus seemed to agree that we return to the mill and report what we heard to Ben. The activity up north seemed to stir up the pussbags quite a bit. Many of the stragglers that were near the rear of the mob that always harasses us started to make their way to where the new distraction was causing a herd crossing on 4th. We were forced to head north as well in an effort to get ahead of them and cross back to the surplus store.

Somewhere along the line we lost sight of Joseph. He had been laboring slightly with the load and taking the scenic route back home. When we were about two blocks away from the passage, we got ambushed by several undead nasties. We couldn’t start blasting shots or else we would have compromised our position for sure so we engaged them hand-to-hand. There was some semblance of confusion. I really wasn’t expected we’d have to do any melee fighting while we were out there so when the moment arose everything was a blur. I remember cracking one zombie on the side of the head then getting grabbed by another. Gary flung him off me and we both proceeded to mash him like a roach. The whole skirmish couldn’t have lasted more than 40 seconds but in that time we lost Joesph. The others searched for him for a few tense seconds but dreaded having to call out to him. We could hear the shuffling getting closer and closer so we had no choice but to move.

We managed to get to the sewer line undetected and reported what had happened to Ben. Surprisingly to me, he was infuriated that we left him behind. Kyra tried to explain the situation but Ben was adamant about doing something about it. Unfortunately we were about 2 hours overdue as it was so any rescue mission would have to wait till the following night. We didn’t venture much during the day. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning and I was exhausted. This situation couldn’t have played out better for me I had thought. I was finally done with Joesph. I didn’t have to sleep with one eye open anymore. He wouldn’t survive the day.

…or so I thought.

I can’t recall how long I’d been sleeping. It felt great to rest without that suspicion lingering over me like blanket. Deep down I really felt bad for the guy but my own selfishness made me relish his absence. I was awakened to the sound of several gun shots. I’d grown used to hearing shots over the past couple of weeks but these were much closer. They were coming from inside. I scrambled to my feet and quickly grabbed the Winchester that was laying by my side. I could see people running back and forth through the dirt stained windows of the office I was in. I quickly made my way to the door and cracked it open slightly. It was bedlam. There were unknown assailants – living beings – loose inside the compound and they were systematically executing everyone in their line of sight. I couldn’t see any of our people amidst all of the confusion. Some had hid while others engaged the attackers on the plant floor. I crept down the stairs and made my way towards where the women would sleep. I had to find Anna.

Thankfully their room was on the other side of facility far from where the action was taking place. Bullets whizzed by my ears as I tried to make my way across the battlefield. I could see Kyra, George and Franklyn propped up against some of the milling equipment taking blind shots at the attackers every so often. I don’t believe they noticed me scurry by. I wrestled with the notion of assisting them but I had no idea how many we were up against. From the screams and gun shots it didn’t sound as though we were doing well. Call me a coward. Call me obsessed with her. I don’t care. She was my responsibility and I had to get to her.

As I crossed between two print presses I stumbled over what I initially thought was a fire extinguisher or something. When I looked back I saw it wasn’t an object but in fact a person. Tom to be exact. He was the after hours guard for the sewer line entrance. He had been stabbed multiple times in the gut. His trail of blood spanned almost the length of the entire factory. He apparently tried to crawl to safety but didn’t make it. He was certainly dead now. Tom wasn’t a slouch. He wasn’t the type of guy who would fall asleep on duty or something foolish like that. And to be stabbed to death? That’s pretty ballsy. It had to have been someone he knew in order to get that close.

Then it hit me like a freight train. It had to be Joesph.

Who else could it be? Who else could do this? I felt sick with rage. I wanted to lash out and kill anything in my path but then reason settled over me as I began to think once again. He’s got help. How else could we have been overrun like this? I quickly dashed off towards the women’s dorm. As I neared several shots ricocheted around me as whoever was inside opened fire on me. I yelled out to whoever it was and let them know it was me. Seconds later the door opened and a hand eagerly waved for me to come in. I slipped in and saw that Anna was alive and well. She threw her arms around me and gave me a big tearful hug. Patricia, Katie and Heather barricaded the entryway when the shooting first started and have been holed up here with her. We now had our backs to the wall and the sounds of gunfire were beginning to slow. We waited for tense minutes hoping to hear an “All clear” from one of our companions but we heard something far more ominous. As the gunfire ground to a halt the noxious sound of their moaning could be heard in the distance. They were inside now. I don’t know how or why but now our situation had just gone from bad to worse.

Patty motioned towards a window that rested about 10ft above us. Without hesitation we began to stack whatever furniture we could get our hands on in order to reach it. She scaled it with ease and used the butt of her rifle to smash out the window. We knew we had to move fast so I helped push the others up the pile and out the window. By the time Katie was through I could hear them lurking just outside the door, their silhouettes casting twisted shapes on the murky glass windows. When I dropped down from the window I must have rolled my ankle or something because a fiery pain shot up from my foot all the way up to my calf. We managed to hobble our way down to the dock and board the boat. There were far too many people on such a small vessel but we didn’t have much choice in the matter. We cast off and let the the current carry us away.

We drifted for what seemed like hours all the while watching the smoke and fire rise from the Paper Mill. All that work. All that effort. All those lives. Gone. Because of one individual’s vendetta against me. For the first time since this all began I felt like giving up. Everything good I’ve been trying to do ends up turning out bad and I began to question was it even worth it anymore.

It took me a couple of days to come to grips with my own emotions. Heck I wasn’t even going to make an entry about this but Anna handed me my phone while we were camped out along the bank and cuddled up next to we waiting for me text away. The mood around here is understandably solemn. I don’t believe I’ve said more than a few words to the other ladies in the past 24 hours. Everyone needs time to absorb and process what has happened – some more than others.

I guess we’re back to square one once again.

zDay 42 – The winds of change

I had a nice long conversation with Ben last night. We’ve never really had a chance to do a one-on-one since Anna and I arrived. We’d spoken briefly in group meetings and at dinner, but nothing substantial. I tell you he’s an interesting dude. He was a CPA for 26 years prior to zDay. The way he has things clicking around here I could have swore he had some kind of military training but no… he’s never even served. I guess it just goes to show that you can’t judge a person by their job.

The other 20 survivors Ben has assembled are all from Grand Rapids. Most of them found one another while on the run in the initial days and decided to stick together. After they settled in the old UPM factory they started actively going out rescuing those in trouble. They multi-tasked rescuing, securing and gathering supplies for the fist couple of weeks and set up quite an operation here. There are a few skilled people here as well. Okay so it’s unfair to say “a few skilled people”. Everyone here has skills that help contribute but let’s be real, trade skills are invaluable. Take Keith for example. He’s a contractor so he’s well rounded when it comes to anything technical like construction or electrical. George is a cop and Kyra is a Marine only a couple of months removed from Iraq so their tactical skills are very important. There’s also a nutritionist, a health care worker, and a mechanic in the fold. It’s amazing how much I’ve learned in just the past few days from just observing. Talk about on the job training.

We were the only ones to come from outside of Grand Rapids so getting the opportunity to trade notes with Ben was beneficial to us all. According to him this was the only stable settlement in the city. Every other day they send a patrol out to not only look for survivors but scout out potential threats as well.  They haven’t gotten much further past 6th street so it’s hard to tell what’s going on in the north end. There are gangs lurking about though. There’s no doubt in that. He was actually quite disturbed to hear about the incidents we went through in Two Harbors and Aurora but thankfully his rather unique defense against looters and marauders seems to have some sound logic behind it. I didn’t get it at first. It seemed like too much of a risk to draw the attention of the zombies and have them at the gates – literally. For the past month I’ve been doing everything in my power to avoid them. This just seemed stupid and risky to me until he explained the reasoning behind it.

Everything is a risk. It’s a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. Having the zombies constantly at the walls provides an extra buffer of protection – if you can believe that – from raiders. No one is going to approach with that many zombies in front of them so it makes a frontal assault pretty unlikely. So long as the walls are maintained and the body counts monitored and regulated, it limits the amount of manpower needed to defend all points. That leaves us less ground to cover in defending the reservoir and bridge, hence why they scoped us out so quickly. Definitely risky but based on the loose cannons I’ve seen it’s a daring endeavor.

They’re also trying to finish off a greenhouse inside the factory itself, over in the west wing. With winter bearing down on us it’s probably the best idea I’ve heard of yet. Sustainability is a huge advantage. I guess they’re digging in for the long haul. Keith has been toiling with that for a while now. The biggest obstacle is getting the supplies needed to complete it. We may have to send another couple people out when there’s a salvage run in order to pull that off. It may be interesting to tag along on one of those. I think I’ve kinda proven that I can handle myself outside. Course I’m not gonna push for it. if they need me I’ll volunteer but I’m not going to push my way in. They’ve got a smooth operation going here so I’m not about to disrupt that.

Oddly enough I’ve noticed that the deadheads have been slowing down quite a bit. I haven’t seen a runner in about a week now. It seems as though the wear and tear is putting the brakes on them. They’re still very much as dangerous as ever but at least you can skirt by them without winding yourself… for the most part. The key is still to avoid detection when outside the compound though. You get enough of those dumb fuckers around you and it doesn’t matter how slow they are, they’ll maul you.  I’m glad we can get in and out of here without drawing too much attention. There’s access to the sewer system from the factory. They’ve secured a line all the way to 4th street near the Army Surplus store so our people can get in behind the bulk of the horde. They’ve even brought industrial carts from the mill down there to make running supplies back and forth much quicker. It’s pretty much our lifeline cuz we’d have to sail up the reservoir if we had any thought of getting out of here to restock otherwise.

Duty calls.

Stay strong and be safe out there.

zDay 41 – Safe?

It never ceases to amaze me how a human can adapt to anything. Even when presented with the most dire circumstances, people find a way to make things “normal”.

Normal. That’s a term I use lightly.

How can anything be considered normal? I equate normal to being comfortable and I’m certainly not comfortable right now. Grand Rapids reminds me a lot of Duluth. Course a lot of cities and towns in Minnesota look alike. Sure would have been interesting to visit a big city like Minneapolis or St. Paul. Maybe not now but you know. I’m kinda kicking myself for not doing so before. Fuck. There’s a lot of things I wish I had done. Oh well…

We’ve been here for a few days now. I was half expecting this city to be another forage into Waco but thankfully we happened upon some rather stand up folks here. I’m not sure of what’s going on in the rest of the city but these people got their shit together. They had cleverly set up shop along the Paper Mill Reservoir in a factory next to the bridge. They’ve sealed off the other side of the bridge and have created a perimeter using a series of obstructions from cars to heavy machinery creating a decent wall around the immediate area. The parking lot in front of the factory serves as sort of a staging ground with the factory itself being a lock down fortress. We saw it from miles away. It’s hard to miss actually. They have the area well lit with flood lights so we were kinda drawn to it like moths to the flame. There’s a steady plume of smoke that emanates form the factory making it look like a giant cabin. It draws a lot of attention from the deadheads but from what I learned later is it’s part of their strategy. We had come in along the banks on the other side of the reservoir. We were spotted by sentries they had posted immediately. We had been traveling so long that I didn’t even try to escape. I guess the fact that we weren’t immediately fired upon was a good sign.

They sent a small armed fishing boat across to us and helped dispatch some of the local nasties that had started to gather. We were greeted by an older black gentlemen named Benjamin Jones. He looked as though he’d seen his fair share of  grief in the past month but welcomed us aboard with a proud smile and open arms. They didn’t look like military but their operation was quite professional. There are 24 of us in total here. Everyone has a job. Everyone contributes. I guess that’s where the normalcy comes into play. I’ve never been much of a leader. I’ve always felt most at ease just going with the flow. For the past however many days I’ve had to make some really tough decisions… some of which have been awful… a few good. It’s very taxing to say the least. I suck at being responsible for others so it was refreshing to have a group of people that knew how to do the job correctly… or at least it looks like they do.

I’m still not too sure about Joesph though. Yeah, I managed to fish that name out of him a couple of days ago. Well I didn’t but Anna did. One day while we were camped out on a rooftop in La Praine waiting for a scavenging mob to pass us by he finally started to talk – to her. I’m not exactly sure how comfortable I am with that but I overhead him say his name was Joesph… Joesph Barnes. We still haven’t exchanged words since that day but he’s been tagging along ever since getting all buddy buddy with Anna. She doesn’t see the potential threat he poses. I mean why not, he looks like someone’s grandfather and talks in a soft baritone voice. There’s something about him though. Something distant in the way he just gazes at things – at people. We’ve all lost so much in this ordeal but I can’t help but think his train left the station a long time ago.

Oh well. He hasn’t done anything detrimental as of yet so I guess I can’t crucify the guy for doing nothing. But I’ve definitely gotta keep Anna away from him…

So here we are now going about living the way we have to now. I can’t knock it though. It’s good to have some structure back in my life. I have bank patrol in a couple of hours then I’m on burn duty after dinner. Yes burn duty. They actually burn the bodies that start to pile up so as to not promote disease. No one’s exactly running the sewage treatment plants anymore so you kinda have to make due. Letting the bodies accumulate also poses a threat of breach because these dumb fuckers just keep marching forward stepping on the bodies of their fallen comrades. If you let it go for too long they’d eventually have a ramp of bodies to walk right over the walls with. We can’t very well toss bodies into our water supply out back either so burning is the only option. It’s quite a horrid odor… even more than the stench that’s already in the air but you get used to it. It’s a small price to pay considering.

I’m thinking about talking to Jones tonight and seeing if he’ll disclose how he got things set up here. Perhaps it’ll be beneficial to others around the world if they had a sorta guideline of how to defend. He’s a man wise beyond his years. Oddly enough he doesn’t even consider the zombies the biggest threat. It’s the looters he’s more concerned with. This whole compound is more geared towards fending off people than the undead.

“Zombies march, moan and eat. That’s all that’s on their minds. It’s the living human mind that keeps me up at night.”

A man after my own heart.

zDay 34 – The Road

It’s been a while since my last update as you can tell. Let’s just say that circumstances prevented me from being able to do so. Girl and I remained at the cabin for 4 days after my last post. Thankfully I don’t have much to report about our stay there. Like I mentioned earlier it was downright peaceful considering the circumstances. We both ended up getting some much needed rest. I was really tempted to try my hand at some hunting but that would be like trying to piss up a pole. I can just imagine myself sneaking through the forest trying to pick off some wildlife with my peashooter. It would be comically pathetic. The extent of my “hunting” goes as far as a rod & reel. I lacked the proper  equipment to do that either. When the MREs ran low it was time for us to hit the road once again.

She was in good spirits and looking better than she has since I first met her. She’s still hobbling about so getting her out of the forest was a bit of a task. She’s a little thing but my God, after a few miles she gets to be quite heavy. We’ve bonded a great deal over the time we’ve been together though. She still hasn’t spoken a word yet but she listens to everything I blabber on about. Maybe I’ll get her to do some entries here. Might help her to cope with what’s going on. It’s amazing how much her eyes can convey. So much compassion. So much concern, attention, conviction. It’s unfortunate that this ordeal has forced her to grow up so quickly but she knows she can trust me.

Nothing like a bit of pressure, huh?

I really should name her. Listen to me. I’m starting to sound like the kid who found a puppy on the way home from school. Am I really that awful for wanting to “name” her? It’s getting really weird referring to her as Girl or “hey” all the time. You know what? Screw it. I’ll call her Anna. That’s the first name that popped into my head so that’ll be what I call her from now on… unless she tells me different.

I’ve lived in Minnesota all my life and had never been to Grand Rapids. I know. It goes against everything I’ve been saying about avoiding large cities but we have to get there. We started seeing a disturbing pattern as we came across some of the smaller townships. They were either completely ransacked or transformed into makeshift forts. Let me tell you this, they aren’t accepting new residents either. We got our first taste of that in Aurora. I suspected something was afoot when I didn’t see too many active deadheads in the area. Much like Two Harbors you can tell where people are holed up by the amount of dead bodies lying about. I don’t know if they’re somehow learning and staying away from these areas or if these hunkered down trigger happy yokels are simply laying waste to everything in sight. Either way I knew it wasn’t good news. We approached at night. I had Anna take cover inside what remained of pizza shop while I scouted area out. It was safe enough for her and I wasn’t going to be long so I headed out.

Many of the main streets and buildings were barricaded with an assortment of debris stacked two men high. Cars, mailboxes, signs… basically anything they could get their hands on it looked like. I noticed however that they weren’t secured with much more than just some ropes and chains. It’s obvious that these fortifications aren’t meant to keep the living out because with the exception of a sentry or two stationed at key spots a child could easily scale them. I broke into the side entrance to place called Dino’s Bottle Shop. I dunno why that name sticks in my head. Apparently a locked door is as good as a barricade when you’re dealing with the undead because there wasn’t anything else blocking my way in. From inside I was able to get a glimpse of what was going on behind the walls. The smell of beer and arrogance was rank in the air. It even overpowered the ever present stench of the dead. I guess these boys had a bit of overconfidence. Aurora is comparable in size to Two Harbors so I doubt they had much of an onslaught to contend with. Heck I betcha half these chicken-humpers had guns anyway and were looking for a reason to shoot something.

I can’t believe I said that. I don’t like what this whole situation is turning me into.

Anyway, I wasn’t about to press my luck and silently left the same way I came in. Course I broke the lock to get in… I hope that doesn’t cause problems for them down the road…

We stayed off the main roads for a long while and headed West. The activity seemed to pick up quite a bit so once again we tried our best to stray away from populated areas. After a few miles though I decided we needed some transportation if we were going to make any headway so we made our way back to the 169. The highway was choked with vehicles but finding one that not only had keys and gas but a drivable path out of the clutter took some time.  I did eventually come across a Mazda 3 that was still in pretty good condition. It managed to stay clear of the many fires that had apparently spread from car to car. There were several charred remains outside of it though and a body inside. It looks as if whoever was driving smacked into the guardrail and got swarmed. As I pulled her corpse out I was anxiously waiting for the eyes to pop open and her to come at me. She didn’t have any open wounds that I could see. In fact the car wasn’t even breached until I smashed through the driver-side window. Her eyes were sunken and tongue swollen. Sadly enough she looks like she died of dehydration… too frightened to even leave the car. As I laid her on the ground I couldn’t help but think back to the old man and his child that I saw in front of the hospital. A chill rocked me to my core as I began to wonder if that was the fate I had in store for myself and this little girl by getting in this car.

Navigating the highway was a task. Whenever we had to slow down and work our way through blockages I was anticipating an ambush. I even had to have her drive at some points while I moved debris from our path. She seemed to enjoy the little tastes of freedom.

There wasn’t much left of Buhl or Chisolm. I didn’t even bother stopping. Didn’t seem worth it. Somehow it seemed to me as though we were chasing the storm. My fears were confirmed when we approached Hibbing. It was a town under siege. You could hear the screams and gunfire a mile away. The road was bringing us right towards the center of town and as we got closer, we saw them.  Hundreds upon thousands of zombies flooding the horizon. I immediately veered off the main road and tried to find a way around. It’s not easy driving in the backwoods, in dark with no headlights with no roads to speak of. We were literally creeping by at a snail’s pace. It was unnerving. After a while the brush was so dense that we couldn’t go any deeper. Luckily we stumbled upon a trail far from the main road. It was probably a walking trail or something. The car could barely fit on the unpaved road but we followed it as far as we could until it brought us to the outskirts of town.

We were on Brooklyn road – wherever the hell that was – when from out of nowhere two people came dashing out from a nearby supply store and began banging frantically on our car. I reached for my gun as Anna clung tightly to my arm. I was so focused on trying to spot the deadheads that I never saw these people approach from my blindside. I fired a shot blindly. I’d become so paranoid of the living that I didn’t even hear their pleas for help until after the bullet splattered the old woman’s brains upon her companion. She slumped down in slow motion as time seemed to freeze for a moment. I looked on in horror as the older gentlemen, shocked by what just transpired stumbled a few steps back, his eyes locked on the gore that now covered him. I was aghast at what I had done. I dropped the gun and it fell between the seat and the door. My mouth quivered as I tried to utter something… anything. The moment seemed to last forever. I didn’t know what to do.

The sound of approaching moans snapped me back into reality for an instant. I unlocked the back door and yelled to the man “Get in!”. He hesitated momentarily until he heard the same thing I did and quickly jumped in back. I put the foot on the gas as I saw them starting to emerge from the darkness, striking a few as I flew down the road. I was insanely nervous. This man was sitting behind me and I feared what he may do. I kept one eye on the road and another in my rear view. He sat there motionless looking down at his hands, weeping ever so inaudibly. I felt sick to my stomach. My head started to swoon as I felt like I was going to pass out. I fumbled around trying to get at the gun I dropped. I couldn’t reach it. Anna squeezed under my arms as I drove and managed to use her wirey little arms to fish it out.  She laid it on my lap and looked back at the old man. He wasn’t even paying attention to what we were doing in the front. She fiddled around in the little Hannah Montana backpack we picked up a while back…

God I hate that little tart.  I hope she didn’t survive this ordeal. Oh my God… that’s just awful. I can’t believe I’m saying these things…

She pulled out a towel and a bottle of water and cautiously offered them to the elderly gentlemen. He didn’t seem to notice her gesture for a bit but when he did he begrudgingly accepted them. She flashed a comforting smile at him and despite how distraught he was forced himself to return the gesture. I still had no idea what to do or say. I just kept driving…

I don’t know how long I drove. Seemed like forever. I watched the sun rise and set. We somehow managed to find the 169 again and took it all the way down to Coleraine before the vehicle said “no more”. The plume of smoke emanating from the hood and knocking in the engine told me we were going on foot once again. Unlike every other towns I’d come across this one was different. It was completely abandoned. A ghost town if you will. It bore the scars of traumatic event but no one remained here. Aside from a couple of stragglers I had to dispatch the town was empty… or so it appears to be. We managed to set up shop inside an old pub a few blocks from the main road. It was easy enough to secure and there was a few provisions left inside that we quickly made use of.

I’m a more than a little uneasy about the way this man has been tagging along. He just follows us blindly as if he’s just doing it by instinct alone. I haven’t turned him away – God… how can I after what I’ve done but I can’t help but have that uncertainty around him. I mean seriously… what would you do? I don’t know if that was his wife, sister or whatever. I could very well be signing my own death warrant by keeping him around. Who knows what’s going in in his head?

I guess only time will tell. For now it’s just another person who won’t talk to me…

zDay 22 – Camp life

Linwood Lake is pretty awesome. I remember taking day trips up here with mom and pop ages ago.  Everything seemed so vast back then. Course everything is when you’re a child. Lemme tell you this.. it’s even more so expansive now. Hiking through Superior National Forest is no joke, especially when you’re ill equipped to do so.  Girl and I managed to scavenge a few things on our way out of Two Harbors. Nothing really remarkable but some necessities nonetheless. She’s been a real trooper. Ideally I’d love to get her to just stay off her feet for a few days but ya know, based on the circumstances that’s kinda difficult to do.

We actually did come across some good Samaritans on our trek north. Somewhere along Highway 44 we were spotted by a three Humvee convoy of soldiers. I thought we were toast when they shined the spotlight on us but remarkably enough they didn’t fire on sight. The commander.. or Sargent or whatever his rank may be,  called down to us and demanded that we identify ourselves. I was choked with fear so I awkwardly yelped out “please don’t shoot”. I suppose that was enough confirmation for them to allow us to approach. I must say there were some tense moments at first. When they saw me with Girl clinging to my back they were more than a bit suspicious. The fact that she had a leg wound as well compounded the matter. They quickly tore her away from me and restrained her. I couldn’t dare resisting too much or risk becoming highway pizza but quickly tried to explain that she hadn’t been bitten and it was a gunshot wound only. He was skeptical but reasonable. He called his medic over to have a look at her. She was terrified but put up a good front. Once again I was feeling pretty useless. With a pair of M4s still trained in on us I watched helplessly as the medic undressed her wound and examined.

I guess they’ve dealt with quite a few bite incidents because he quickly ruled it out and immediately started giving the injury the professional attention it needed. I breathed a sigh of relief once Duke motioned to the other grunts to form a perimeter and watch out for deadheads. I dunno why I called him Duke right now. He never did introduce himself but he reminded me so much of Duke from the GI Joe cartoon I couldn’t help but relate it to him. Anyway, he did say he was from the Marine Safety Office in Duluth and that the city was officially sacked. He and his squad were on the way up to Thunder Bay to link up with some Canadian forces they’d been communicating with for the past few days. Apparently this is a worldwide event after all so everyone is kinda scrambling at this point.

Duke offered us a seat in one of their trucks, but when I looked back at Girl I could see she wanted no part of this. Probably all the hardware that was freaking her out. Or maybe it was that she knew no good would come of it. I kinda had that feeling bubble up in my stomach when he made the offer so perhaps we’re on the same page about this. After a long pregnant pause I sheepishly turned him down. He didn’t seem put off by my response surprisingly but looked genuinely concerned. He asked if I had any protection and I humbly showed him my wonderfully hand-crafted table leg with a chain wrapped and nailed to the top and my utterly useless 3 bullet pistol. He took a look at the dried up gore and remnants of hair on the club and cracked the faintest of smiles.

“Well you look like you’re doing just fine with that one”

He took the pistol from me. Like a pro he pulled the slide back and popped out the chambered round. He then ejected the clip and checked it out. He looked down the barrel briefly and shrugged as if he approved of something. We walked over to the rear storage compartment of the lead vehicle. I waited as he fiddled around with all kinds of supplies inside. A few moments later he hands me a rather heavy camouflage rucksack along with my pistol.

“This is a MOLLE. It should have enough to keep you going for another couple days at least. I threw in a couple extra clips for you as well. Keep it clean and you should be able to use it indefinitely. Just don’t go dropping it all over the place.”

I had no clue what the fuck a MOLLE (pronounced Molly) was but I wasn’t going to turn down the gift. I quickly strapped it to my back and made my way back to the middle vehicle. The medic was just about done patching her up again. He commended me for keeping the wound clean and gave me what looked a diabetic’s pouch with some syringes and a couple vials within it.

Antibiotics. Just in case.


As quickly as they descended upon us, they were packed up and gone in an instant. We stood there and watched as the red lights got smaller and smaller. Finally they were gone and we were surrounded by the ambiguous sounds of the night once again. It wasn’t until daybreak that I was able to fully appreciate what those soldiers gave us. After surviving for what… 3weeks now with little more than the shirt on my back, we now had supplies. Real supplies. Rope, compass, MREs, hydration packs… it was like a survivalist’s stocking stuffer. And bullets. Thank God. I’d been holding on to those last three bullets for the unfortunate even that things got truly dire.

One for them.

One for her.

One for me.

Hopefully it won’t have to come to that now. At least I can take some shots now.  Not like that’d be my first choice. Avoid or bash. That seems to be the most discreet way about going about anything right now. Guns are far too noisy and attract too much attention. I think that’s possibly why Girl didn’t want to go with them. They’re probably heading to a bad ending… which is a shame.

Good luck, Joes.

There’s noticeably less zombies out here. Heck I think we came across maybe 2 since we’ve been in here and that was closer to the city. They seem to go where the “food” is and apparently whatever food was in here is long gone or exhausted. Which puzzles me. There are lots of animals in here. Shit I’ve been dreading encountering a black bear or a pack of wolves but there are other forms of wildlife thriving in this forest but they don’t seem interested. Only living humans. What the hell is it? It can’t be the warm blood or flesh otherwise anything living would suffice. It has to be something!

Oh well… Lord knows I got plenty of time to ponder.

So here we sit, on the deck of a small red cottage overlooking the lake as if nothing was going on out there in the world. The air is fresh and clean here. The breeze coming off the water is chilly, so much so that I’m gonna have to put a jacket on. Maybe we should just stay here? Doesn’t seem like a bad idea considering… but alas… we’ll run out of supplies sooner or later once again and that’ll force us back into the urban areas. I’d love to say we can live off the land but I’m about as skilled at hunting and fishing as I am with car repair. I’m just painfully inept in that department.

Oh well. We’ll see what happens. I’m in no rush and Girl seems to be somewhat comfortable so I guess I’ll just play it by ear.

Stay strong and be safe people.

zDay 18 – Trouble

Nothing lasts forever. Seems as though some of the locals found this place to be as viable as I did. Unfortunately they have much bigger guns than I do so sticking around and “defending my turf” really wasn’t much of an option.

I suppose it was kinda stupid on my part to imagine a lumber yard as being safe. I mean c’mon… wood is a commodity in this situation so people were bound to come poking around sooner or later. Thankfully Little Miss Something woke up yesterday. She’s a little worse for wear but she’s awake and responsive so that’s good. Would have sucked to have had to drag her out of here unconscious on my back once again. I still had to haul her around on my back but at least she held on this time. lol

Rather than tip them off to us being here we quietly slipped out the back as we heard them approaching. They were attracting so much attenion with the swearing and shouting that it made our escape relatively – dare I say – easy. They came with 3 F-150s so I can only assume they were packing some decent firepower. Probably those yokels from the bank. Anyway, we slipped through several backyards and headed north. I think I’m gonna abandon that idea about trying to get to the docks. Too much drama as it is. I can’t imagine how much more down there.

And I still don’t know this girl’s damn name!

I think she’s catatonic or something. Who could blame her? Fuck. If I didn’t have this damn blog I’d probably be halfway to the rubber room by now. She’s a tough little thing though. If she doesn’t start speaking sometime soon I’m gonna have to name her. Seriously. I can’t just keep referring to her as girl. That’s just crude. lmao

Well, “home” is now called the Vanilla Bean Cafe. Looks like any mom-n-pop coffee shop that caters to the pretentious local wannabe beatniks. Perfect place to do some quick blogging.  Not much to say other than we definitely won’t be staying here long. Looks like it got ransacked and gutted long before we got here. Lots of broken windows no real secure spots other than the supply-less supply room we currently find ourselves in. I’m not claustrophobic but I can NOT see myself staying here longer than we have to. Once the sun goes down we’ll get to marching.

Till next time people.

Stay strong and be safe.

zDay 16 – What I know so far

Well… I’m still in lovely Two Harbors. Fuck, I should just take up residence here permanently. Doesn’t look like I’m leaving anytime soon.

I was hesitant to venture out on a food & supply run and leave the girl unconscious and vulnerable so I stayed and watched over her. I think she has or at least had a fever at some point. The other night she was sweating profusely so I bundled her up in the hopes that it would break the fever. Looks like it may have. She’s not drenched anymore at least. I dunno what to say about her wound though. I can’t tell if that’s the way it’s supposed to look when it’s healing properly or not. I’ve been checking and changing the bandage regularly and there doesn’t appear to be any puss so that means no infection.

Least I was able to remember that much, eh Sarah?

I can’t quite figure out what she is… racially I mean. She looks Hispanic based on her honey-like complexion but she has a bit of a honker on her so she could very well be Indian or Middle Eastern. I can’t tell. I suck at guessing nationalities. Accents, I’m spot on but faces I’m terrible with. She’s a cutie nonetheless albeit the circumstances. I doubt she’s even in her teens yet. How could anyone even contemplate shooting at her? It’s despicable. Seriously. What the hell? It hasn’t even been a month since the world started taking this downward spiral and already people are acting like something out of a post apocalyptic movie. Geez. I’m starting to wonder if I should be fearing the living more than the dead…

I don’t think she’s in a coma. She has stirred slightly on a few occasions just long enough for me to give her some sips of water before passing out once again. She must be exhausted. I know I am and I’ve actually had rest and food at some points. I wonder how long she’s been surviving? Duh… that’s a dumb question. Obviously as long as I have, stupid. I guess what I’m really curious about is how. Lord knows it hasn’t been a cakewalk for me… I can’t imagine what she’s been through. She must be starving. I don’t think the half a stack of Saltines I have is gonna be enough for us. If she doesn’t wake up soon I’m gonna have to go out tonight regardless.


Enough babbling. Since I’m not going anywhere anyime soon and sitting vigilantly by her side I may as well use this time to sorta review my thoughts and speculations about these… things.

  • They’re fast. Really fast… or at least it appears that they are because they’re so relentless. I’ve manged to watch them when they’re not in pursuit of anyone and they kinda just wander around aimlessly. It’s only when they catch sight of something that they literally spring into action.
  • They have absolutely no finesse. I’ve yet to see any of them pull or turn a handle yet. The extent of their dexterity seems to be just clawing, grabbing, banging and biting.
  • Every person they kill and don’t completely devour comes back to unlife. That suggests some kind of viral transmission of whatever the hell it is that makes them tick. That brings me no comfort. If it is viral there’s a chance it can go airborne and what then? I shutter to even think about that.
  • I can’t tell but I don’t think they can see any better than a living creature. It’s easier to sneak by them at night and in the shadows. That’s the only thing I know for sure.
  • They don’t seem to think either – at least not in any conventional sense. They’re unyielding in their attacks and will only cease when all within an earshot are taken out. They don’t learn from mistakes so traps theoretically will never get old with them.
  • I don’t know if they operate with some sort of pack mentality or not. Yeah there’s loads of them all around and when one pounces the rest follow in suit. I can’t tell if it’s a mass of individuals trying to get at the same thing or if they’re knowingly ambushing people in some primal form of coordination. They don’t seem to react to or interact with one another. In fact they seem to be oblivious to other undead. How do they know? What is it that attracts them to us? How do they know we’re alive?

I’d love to entertain the Shaun of the Dead theory of pretending to be undead but call me a coward, I just don’t think that’d pan out too well for some reason. There’s something about us that they can sense. Maybe it’s smell? That doesn’t make sense though. Smelling requires a lot of brain processes in order to distinguish one scent from another. Somehow I just don’t think they can smell at all. It’s got to be something else.  Gah… I dunno. The sooner we find out that out the better I’d guess because at this rate they’ll wipe us out before we even get a chance to figure out WTF.

What’s got me unnerved the most is how quickly this situation came about and how rapidly it can spread. This is far worse than even a wildfire or virus. I mean think about it… if this is happening all across the country – check that – all across the world, they can triple or even quadruple their numbers in just a day let alone a week. That’s why they’re able to overwhelm. I can’t imagine how many people were caught off guard by this. How do you prepare for or anticipate something like this?

I guess I was lucky.

Ha! Lucky. That’s subject to interpretation. Is it really lucky to have to live this way? Cowering inside abandoned building fretting over whether  a mob of these things are gonna come busting in at any given moment. Having no food. No power at times. Cold, dirty… aching… working on about 28hrs worth of sleep in the past week or so. Bah… stop bitching Duane. I’m alive. I suppose there are people in Europe and Asia who have dealt with conditions like this on a daily basis long before there was any zombie outbreak so who am I to complain. I’m just a spoiled little American. Suck it up Duane. No sense in complaining about what can’t be changed. Just gotta keep on keeping on I guess…

Cloudy day.

Might be rain on the horizon. It’d be great if it did. Might help put out some of the fires and wash some of this nastiness away.

Looks like my little companion is stirring. Gotta go.

Till next time.

Stay strong and be safe.

zDay 14 – People suck

It never ceases to amaze me how sick people can be.

I shadowed the 7 all the way to the heart of Two Harbors. During my long hike I came to the decision that I’d head down to the docks and see what my options were down there. I dunno. At this point I kinda threw logic out the window. I’d been dodging zombies for so long now I just wanted to get someplace they weren’t and the water seemed like as good a place as any.

There wasn’t as many deadheads in this town compared to Duluth. For the most part it looked like a war zone. You can tell what places were secured by the amount of bodies laid out in front of certain buildings. Based on my near-death experience back home I figured it was wisest to just stay in the bushes and backyards as I made my way south. Wasn’t about to take any chances on the kindness of strangers.

I think I was on 2nd ave when I caught sight of the bank. Apparently some good ole boys had holed up in there and were shooting up anything and everything in sight. There was a pile of bodies that decorated the street. Hell I couldn’t even see asphalt there were so many of them. The stench is starting to reach whole new levels of unbearable. Thank God this didn’t happen months ago when we were having those 90+ degree days.

What am I saying…

It was starting to get real dusky outside so I didn’t want to dare venturing any further down 2nd even though the stretch seem to be relatively zombie free cuz of them. I was about to continue on when I caught sight of some movement in the distance. Across the street from the bank, a young girl popped out from the alleyway between two buildings. She waved her arms frantically and shouted towards the guy I didn’t even notice on the roof.  She looked as though she’d been on the run for a while based on how haggard her clothes looked. She was dirty, scrawny and desperate.

I’d imagine I don’t look much different…

Without hesitation, the man on the roof fired several shots at the young girl, striking her once in the thigh. I initially thought maybe a pack of zombies was closing in on her and that she got accidentally popped but as the girl screamed in agony and tried to crawl back into the alleyway, the scumbag kept firing. Thank God he’s an awful shot. Several shots hit the ground around and buildings around her as she managed to crawl out of sight.

I dunno why I did this. It probably had to do with that poor girl from the other night. I couldn’t… didn’t… want to help her and it’s been grating on the back of my mind for some time now. The guilt has been all-consuming. I didn’t even really think about what I was doing. I just found myself moving towards that area. Ducking in and out of shadows I came up behind the cafe across the way from the bank. I listened carefully and heard her whimpering close by. A trail of blood lead me to where she was curled up in fetal position sobbing uncontrollably. I froze for a moment. The sight of her so vulnerable… so terrified… just paralyzed me. She must have heard me creeping up because she jumped up suddenly and pressed herself tight against the dumpster behind her. I snapped out of my haze and immediately put my finger to my mouth urging her to be quiet. I could hear stirring nearby and knew we couldn’t stay there for much longer. She locked eyes with me, tears streaming down her face and bit her bottom lip as she tried to remain quiet.

I pulled the skully off my head, balled it up and placed it on her bloody wound. I pulled my belt off and wrapped it around her thigh, pulling tight to try stop the bleeding.  She yelped in agony briefly but quickly stifled it. I scanned the area to look for the quickest way out of there. Back the way I came seemed the only viable option. We couldn’t very well break into cafe and draw attention to ourselves. The sounds were drawing closer. I couldn’t hesitate any longer so I hoisted her onto my back, draped her arms around my neck and scurried off as quickly as possible.

I dunno how long or how far I ran. Once that adrenaline kicked in I just kept moving. It was getting dark and we couldn’t be outside for very much longer. Too many shadows. Too many places to get ambushed.

We eventually came upon a business… a lumberyard if you can believe it… on the west end of town. I couldn’t have asked for a better place to shack up for the time being. I forced my way into the main office via a window and quickly brought her in. There was enough wood around to properly secure the entryway. One might think it’d be really easy to find a hammer in a lumber yard but contrary to that belief I had to nail planks up with computer speaker.

So here I am… stranded with this injured little girl. I don’t even know her name. She slipped out of consciousness sometime when I was trying to get into the office window. I’ve done the best I can with her wound. I’m not a doctor. I’m not even all that comfortable around blood. This is something right up Sarah’s alley. I tried my best to remember the little things she told me over the years but I kept drawing blanks. The bullet went straight through but I dunno if she’s bleeding internally or not. I don’t think it hit the femoral artery. She’d be bleeding out way more than she was if that was the case. There’s only so much I can do with my knowledge and this useless first aid kit.

I guess they didn’t have heavy trauma in mind when they got this. It’s a lumber yard FFS. Don’t they get seriously injured around here?? No… I suppose they’d just go to the hospital. Maybe they have another more useful one around here? Being that I’ve been stuck here for what feels like days now I suppose I should check around. I’m running low on food again and if this girl decides to pull through and wake up I’m sure she’s gonna be starving…

What have I gotten myself into…

zDay 11 – Mistakes

I have no idea is these posts are even going anywhere. If they are cheers to WordPress for having some serious automation in a time of crisis. Had to ditch the laptop a while back. It was slowing me down too much. Plus it kinda stopped working after I had to crack one of these fuckers over the head with it. Thank God for phone apps.

Note to self: Avoid hospitals and police stations at all costs.

I dunno what the fuck I was doing. I guess movies had an influence on my decision cuz I seriously thought I could float on over to the local PD and possibly pick up some weapons (or at least bullets for this damn gun) and be in and out like the wind. Like no one else had the same idea. Like I was the only person alive who would think of that. Dumbass.

The cops… or whoever was holed up inside… weren’t about to open up their doors and roll out the red carpet. The building was under siege like something out of the Crusades. It was unreal. Bodies upon bodies upon bodies. They stacked up almost a man high and they just kept on coming. Relentless I tell you. I watched from the overpass leading to the Transit Center building. So much attention was being focused towards the PD that I was able to slip in and out of buildings unnoticed. Hell I even found a working outlet to charge my phone for a bit.

I can’t tell how they can sense us yet. They don’t seem to be able to see any better than we can because I’ve been able to slip by a few under the cover of darkness. Maybe they can smell us or something. Course I dunno how that’s even possible. The stench around here is absolutely paralyzing. I suppose I’m starting to get used to it. Hell, I haven’t showered in a few days now and I can’t even tell. I know I must wreak but compared to this… sheesh.

Anyway, the police station was just totally fucked so I left. I started heading north and there came bonehead move number two – getting too close to St. Mary’s hospital. I guess that I was so used to that route that I instinctively was drawn there. Okay… seriously, even if you’re hurt, don’t go to the hospital. You’re better off tending to yourself because hospitals are like a zombie factories at this point. Unlike the PD where they had limited access ways in, hospitals are all about having multiple ways in. God… it must have been like a buffet in there for them. Oddly enough, in a twisted sort of way, it still kinda looks like a hospital. People coming in and out constantly. It just sucks that the people are dead.

I was camped out in the bushes across about a block away from the main entrance. I saw a mangled Ford Focus come racing down the block plowing into zombie after zombie. After about the 6th or 7th hit the driver, a middle aged Hispanic looking man with a prematurely receding hairline and a pencil thin mustache, lost control of the vehicle and crashed into the side of the library across the the street from the hospital. The deadheads swarmed like ants on a candy bar. I was tempted to go and help but there was too many of them. They poured out of the hospital like a wave of decaying flesh and washed over the car. The man managed to force his way out the driver side window and tried to pull someone out with him. Her frail little arm suggested it was probably his daughter or something. He wasn’t able to wrestle her free from the swarm. I watched as he clung onto her arm even as they started tearing into his flesh. He never let go. He never screamed. He just had his eyes locked onto her hers.

I’m going straight to hell…

I can see Two Harbors in the distance. Doesn’t look to be any better off than Duluth but I’m gonna investigate anyway. I shouldn’t be out here during the day but my eyes are so strained from skulking around in the darkness that I decided to take a chance and do some day running.

Hope I don’t end up regretting this…

Stay strong and stay safe people.

zDay 9 – Sarah

I remember one particular a day a long time ago… March 5th, 2000. The sun was bright but the air was cool – cool enough to wear a sweatshirt and feel fine. A perfect day, as my father would say, to get things done. He enlisted the aid of my brother and I to help him do the flashing on his roof. Far be it to call in a contractor, no… my father was old school. He always said “If you got two hands you can do anything yourself”.

Six hands meant the sky was the limit.

It hadn’t rained in almost two weeks and the wind was a gentle kiss on the cheek. There we were, the Foree men standing triumphantly on top of my parent’s 2 story colonial as if we were doing this for years. I didn’t have a clue. I would just do as I was told. My father played the foreman role well. I don’t consider myself to be a complete sap when it comes to handiwork but some things are better left to the professionals.I can’t say for sure what happened. I’ve always stuck to the little white lie of a bird hitting me in the head, but that so wasn’t the case. I was trying to tack down my section of underlayment when my knee just buckled. I kinda did an ass-over-tea-kettle roll forward and right off the roof.

Thank God for safety harnesses, huh?

Oh wait. Pops didn’t believe in those. Expensive pieces of crap. You can get the same level of protection with just some laundry line wrapped around your waste and secured to a solid spot. Well, I’m not sure how much pops tested that safety feature out but lemme tell you first hand, I’d go with the safety harness in a heartbeat. I thought I was going to die. As soon as my death roll started my heart jumped into my throat as I watched the world spin around me. Then I was airborne for what felt like a minute but what I was later told to be a blink of an eye. I was quite certain I was going to land head first on the walkway, but then a whole new feeling shot through my body. My safety line  snapped straight and immediately halted my descent. Let me just say that I believe the bottoms of my boots touched the back of my head. The only thing I can equate it to is imagine tying a rope around your waste  and fastening the other end to a Ferrari leaving a lot of slack then telling said Ferrari to gun it and take off in the opposite direction.

Yeah. Not pleasant.

My back was completely fucked. I thought I snapped in two.  I was certain I was going to be paralyzed because of this. When they lowered me to the ground I could feel all my extremities but there were shooting pains lighting up my whole body. I couldn’t stand and pretty much slumped down in this weird half-sitting half-slouching position. Thankfully mom wasn’t home at the time. She would have probably wanted to give me one of her home remedies. Yeah. She had a home remedy for everything.

Scott called the paramedics and thankfully they got there before my pops could load me into his Valiant. You don’t wanna go to the hospital in an ambulance. They’ll charge you an arm ‘n a leg and take your brother’s while they’re at it. Scotty managed to run interference with my pops while the paramedics helped me into the back of the ambulance. I was whisked away to St. Mary’s.

I hadn’t broken my back  after all but apparently the medics felt I was okay enough to be brought to the receptionist’s desk and fill out some paperwork. That’s where I met my beloved Sarah. She had on these cute purple scrubs with little Pooh bears all over them. Her hair was tied up in a pseudo-bun-like thing leaving a few chestnut tendrils that would brush against her neck. God she was beautiful. She had that kind of natural beauty where she didn’t even have to wear makeup. Her skin was light coffee and her chocolate brown eyes could burn a hole right into your soul. She had these pouty lips that gave her this added look of concern even if she wasn’t.

Of course when I caught sight of her I did what any self-respecting man would do – I faked like I wasn’t in that much pain. Our eyes met for an instant while she was asking me my name and immediately I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t believe it! It’s like I reverted into a 12 tear old again. I was sweating profusely –  largely because it felt like a large man was standing on my left kidney but not entirely. Her voice was mesmerizing. Slightly deep and rich not whiny and shrill like a lot of young women’s voices tend to be. She came out from behind the desk and actually helped me over to a seat near by. There was legitimate concern in her touch. She sat down with me and to my shock, took the clipboard from me and started filling things out for me. We eventually go to the subject of how I ended up there and I playfully informed her of my father’s candidacy for Safety Chief and explained the whole story. She couldn’t help but to curl the ends of her mouth into a uncontrollable smile upon hearing what happened.

God I loved her smile.

It wasn’t busy in the Emergency room which was surprising to me. I’d never been in one before so I was kinda expecting to see a total movie scene. Interns rushing bloodied and dying people in on gurneys, hundreds of patients waiting to be tended to with varying degrees of injuries and ailments and an undermanned hospital staff barking obscenities to anyone who approached the desk. It wasn’t anything like that. I think John Lennon’s Power to the People was playing in the background as only the two of us sat there in the empty waiting room. I knew I would be taken away after the paperwork was done but I didn’t want to leave her side. In the short time I was there I felt utterly comfortable around her – even with the searing pain going through me. I knew my time with her wasn’t going to last and I was so choked up with nervousness that playing the cool nonchalant role wasn’t going to fair too well. I looked down at her left hand and noticed she didn’t have a ring on. Like an idiot, I actually blurted that out…

No ring, huh?

She giggled softly and teasingly fired back with “Are you trying to insinuate something?”

She knew she had me balled up in knots. Chicks know these things from get go and she knew full well that I was wrapped around her little finger from the beginning. Of course I fumbled and bumbled my way to a half assed reply. I think I said something along the lines of no no I just think you’re beautiful or something lame like that. She laughed once again. I think she was more amused with how absolutely asinine I was behaving under deres. Nothing like trying to be cool when there’s absolutely no possible way you can be. I was sweaty, partially slouched over and kept trying to put on this it’s-no-big-deal smile the whole time.

One of the residents on duty came into the waiting room and disrupted my magical moment. Sarah finished the paperwork and set the clipboard in the seat next to her. She didn’t even hand them to the doctor. She took hold of my hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said “You’re not feeling too well right now. Why don’t you pay me a visit when you’re all fixed up. You know where I work.”

She smiled warmly and gave me a wink that I still have dreams about today….

I only have 3 bullets left…

I need to get out of this city. There’s nothing left for me here…